The Pocket Psychologist

This very interesting. For someone like myself wh...

2012-02-29T20:46:45.589-08:00

This very interesting. For someone like myself who has a definitive approach on relationship I wonder rather I am the cat or the mouse. This so-called relationship is burdensome. I enjoy being chanced. But I sometimes more than I like, I find myself doing the chasing. I am frustrated. Your definition is on point. I am ready for counseling to get to the root of the problems of not being able to trust. If I can ever get him to commit to counseling. In the meantime I will not chase. I will pray.

I do agree that parents should pay attention with ...

2011-04-14T23:08:19.497-07:00

I do agree that parents should pay attention with their children everytime they were on the internet so that they help their children to avoid accessing in the porn site.

For those who have the same situation be strong en...

2011-03-06T00:55:22.253-08:00

For those who have the same situation be strong enough to face the life we deal with.. I have mine too.. in the end we caught up in confusion n stressful.. enjoy ur life while u can..

peace!

Karen knows all about this

2010-12-29T15:14:27.166-08:00

Karen knows all about this

Thank you for this blog. Am survivor. The list in ...

2010-11-06T01:49:33.563-07:00

Thank you for this blog. Am survivor. The list in section 5 portrayed almost exactly our family situation. This helps me more to understand why this could have happened not only to me but also to my sister.
I have been in therapy for more than ten years now and have been diagnosed with borderline since four years. My sister however has only recently been confronted with her own past and is by far ready to seek (professional) help. We haven't talked about it yet.
With this information posted in this blog, I will feel more support when the time is right for her.

I was sexually abused by my much older brother at ...

2010-11-01T14:27:38.794-07:00

I was sexually abused by my much older brother at age 5 or so, but physically and emotionally abused by him for all the years he lived in our home, about 15. He was my mother's favorite and she made me "agree" with her that he was a wonderful genius. I lived around him for thirty years, although he was never nice to me and I didn't get any joy out of seeing him at holidays, etc. In fact, I now realize most of my life I've suffered from profound dissociation. I had abusive relationships with older men in my youth, but now I have a supportive husband.

I'm 57 now, but because I only discovered the abuse and confronted my past a few years ago, I feel I'll never be able to eradicate his influence. I think I took on some of his characteristics--I'm not a sexual abuser, but I feel I took on his antisocial attitudes.

Do you think I can ever be free?

Womens also unable to make a commitment because th...

2010-10-27T02:09:53.551-07:00

Womens also unable to make a commitment because their also compares her new partner to some perfect fantasy man of her dreams.

cletsey

I agree with the intensive psychotherapy but do no...

2010-09-12T12:32:57.623-07:00

I agree with the intensive psychotherapy but do not agree with the medication. I have been reading the research on these medications and have seen what it does to people long term. Some of these drugs should be outlawed. I think there will come a time in our future when we will look back on them like we do lobotomies now.

There are certainly a couple more details to take ...

2010-08-23T03:18:52.012-07:00

There are certainly a couple more details to take into consideration, but thanks for sharing.

blogs

Been there, done that, and will suffer. :( All my ...

2010-06-23T00:50:59.503-07:00

Been there, done that, and will suffer. :( All my relationships has been like this. Endless cat and mouse -games.

Thank you for this article.

-2000man

It was frightening reading this blog and seeing ex...

2010-06-16T18:20:15.365-07:00

It was frightening reading this blog and seeing exactly how it all happened. You use therapist words like grooming and I just see flashbacks to what that was. I think its important for ppl to know about what to look out for.
All those physical changes that can happen, within the brain, and im guessing emotional development... Can they be undone? or is it permenant?

we must take great care to our children and also i...

2010-06-03T09:45:45.216-07:00

we must take great care to our children and also indicates that at some point so abused inform us immediately!

:o

2010-06-03T07:02:39.278-07:00

I read an article describing recent historical res...

2010-02-16T20:20:39.251-08:00

I read an article describing recent historical research into seasonal work and lifestyle patterns of villagers in France. The evidence was gathered from the letters of travelers. Apparently, it was not uncommon for a traveler to arrive to a village during the winter only to find virtually everyone asleep. It was described that the villagers would take turns keeping the a fire going and taking care of other vital tasks. The increasing demands of industrialization have separated humans from the requirements of the seasons.

What a fabulous post! I'd love to use this on...

2010-02-12T17:20:40.668-08:00

What a fabulous post! I'd love to use this on iTwixie.com in our Parent Circle!

What do you think? What I appreciate most, is how you explain and emphasize the changes that are occuring so rapidly in tweenagers. So many brands, writers, groups and entertainers want to give a label to kids who act like such n such or who look like so n so, and the fact is, within less than 12 weeks, these attributes will change and may bring just the opposite or dramatically different attributes in their place.

So why the labeling?

Why not encourage kids to embrace this fluid time of life?

Why not help kids open their minds instead of trying to label and close them?

Thank you for your incredible post.

Good and interesting article, thanks. I was recent...

2010-02-07T08:08:47.237-08:00

Good and interesting article, thanks. I was recently told I was engaging in this activity, possibly without realising it.

Hi, My name is Heather Jones and I am the assista...

2010-02-02T10:56:48.386-08:00

Hi,

My name is Heather Jones and I am the assistant editor of Epsychologist.org. I am contacting you today in hopes of developing a relationship with your website; we have seen your site and think your content is great. Epsychologist.org offer a free informational resource to both the general and professional public on several issues.

I hope you show some interest in building relationship, please contact me at heather.epsycholosgist.org@gmail.com.

So scary... my youngest daughter has received emai...

2010-01-18T21:59:43.432-08:00

So scary... my youngest daughter has received emails from a man, a James at insideonebreath@yahoo.com, and she is only 13 and he tried to make advances on her! What a scary thing, thank you for youre informative blog!

But what about women who have had a good upbringin...

2009-12-15T18:02:35.479-08:00

But what about women who have had a good upbringing and have a healthy sense of self yet are unable to find a man with these attributes and end up in a bad relationship?

Insightful article. Thanks for sharing.

2009-12-04T05:51:25.958-08:00

Insightful article. Thanks for sharing.

It seems to me that there must be some sociocultur...

2009-11-27T09:52:15.334-08:00

It seems to me that there must be some sociocultural or economic connection, either in the growth of obesity or the growth of the childhood "emotional deprivation or trauma" you hold as the true cause of the obesity.

Why is there so much more deprivation and trauma in the most developed countries? No matter how I look at it, there's something larger than the individual happening here.

I'm forced to consider the humanistic/existentialist theorists in this phenomenon. I suspect that it's not childhood trauma and deprivation that fuel obesity so much as the existential vacuum left by the worship of acquisition and "stuff." When you live in a land in which you can virtually have any "thing" you want, what happens when it's still not enough? What fills the space that in simpler times was filled by family, community, and commonly held values and beliefs? I suggest that there's a vacauum there we're filling with food. In a sense, I'm saying that overindulgence, overacquisition, and "having it all" are the new deprivation and trauma.

I'm not suggesting the "regress express." The old days are the old days, and no amount of "that old time religion" will relieve the complexity of our age. However, neither will fishing expeditions into childhood trauma and deprivation that may or may not exist.

The instinctual brain has no capacity to learn and...

2009-11-23T10:01:46.075-08:00

The instinctual brain has no capacity to learn and grow from experience and keeps repeating the same things over and over again. When a person has grown up having to defend oneself against pervasive physical or psychological threats or violent behavior, survival is the very best that the person can hope for. Unfortunately, that is the pattern that keeps getting played out as the brain directs responses to ensure survival rather than being able to engage in self actualizing or rational decision making. We like to believe that these women who are caught up in survival patterns actually have the capacity to make different (rational) choices. It is my hope that with more understanding as demonstrated in this article, methods for reducing fear such as teaching mindfulness and the practice of meditation, and less judgment of their choices while they struggle will go a long way to help them shift from surviving to thriving.

This is so well written I am a psychotherapist in ...

2009-11-22T09:30:14.258-08:00

This is so well written I am a psychotherapist in Studio City, CA. With this problem we could fill every venue within the U.S.. I would also be one in the audiance after 29 years of therapy with some of the best. I enjoyed reading your blog about a difficult issue with for some the journey is long towards resolving. Hopefully there is learning a long the way. I think there is and that is what gives me hope for all of us.

Well said Dr. Bruce. My 82 year old mother exhibit...

2009-10-23T13:49:44.266-07:00

Well said Dr. Bruce. My 82 year old mother exhibits hoarding behavior, generalized anxiety disorder and obsessive compulsive traits of long standing. SHe has always believed that the "wolf is at the door." The situation is further complicated by the fact that she has a moderate dementia. I have thought for many years that she could benefit from a caring evaluation and appropriate treatment. She lives in Sarasota FL.

I found this article particularly interesting as I...

2009-09-10T09:22:05.630-07:00

I found this article particularly interesting as I work with animals, who by human standards, are out of control in one way or the other. The reality is that often they feel that they have no control at all over the choices that they can make so make ones that don't fit well into their human dominated world. People often say that we are anthropormophizing. The more logical assumption is that we are closer than we'd like to believe. A scared animal will attempt to control their world and everything in it in very similar ways that humans do.